Big plans and happiness

This article won't be about my photos. 

Yeah, it will me about what I want to shoot, what I want this year to bring me, etc. But I won't show any pictures.

Because I don't know what photos I could show you. And it's not about that anyway :D

Lately I've been feeling really happy, I don't know why. Maybe because I saw the sun for the first time for... I don't know how long.

Maybe because I can't find in my life any problems right now.

Maybe because I've been meeting a lot of people lately. And yeah, I love meeting new people.

Maybe because I have the most awesome friends.

Maybe because I decided to behave the way I think. 

Maybe because I've learned to know myself better and I can finally say what are my weaknesses and strengthts. 

Maybe because I have goals. For this week, next month, 2013, in ten years, all my life ?

Yeah, well, I think one of the secrets for happiness, is having a goal. I personally feel empty if I don't have anything to wait for, or anything to do work for.

My holiday has lasted for a few days now, none is here, I don't have money to go anywhere. But surprisely I don't even feel lonely. Or sad. It's refreshing actually, having time for only myself. Having time to do stuff, like cleaning my room. (Wait what ?! :D)

But yeah, this time alone is perfect for making decisions and organizing my future.

Well,  I have big plans. I've always been really ambitious. Lazy, yeah, but ambitious. And I'm sure this strength will kill the weakness that is laziness.

I don't know if I have talent in photography, but I don't think it matters because I believe in the fact that passion, ambition and perseverance are important at 65% to make dreams come true. 25% is luck and 10% is talent.

I can be wrong of course. But this is my point of view.

I realized I have one thing that's more important than photography and career. It's friendship, family and love. Which means Love in general.

Yeah, I'm so ambitious I'll do my best to think of my career for some choices. If for example I go to America  but my best friend lives in Finland, oh noes! In this case, yes, I'll choose career. I know I won't lose my friend because of it.

But what I'm trying to say is that, I will never choose my friends just because I want something from them.

I don't want to do good things, because I can get something for myself.

I believe, so strongly in the fact that an artist who doesn't feel CANNOT be an artist.

If an artist can't laugh, do good things just for the sake of seeing people happy, love, party, and know all the bad and good feelings friends, lover, familymember give, he simply can't make arts.

Arts are all about feelings. Soul. What makes us human. 

Unfortunately there are way too many photographers or any other artist that make what they do in really empty ways. 

An artist has to think about life. Deep things. 

Yeah and of course loving what they do. Not just loving the things they can get when they do it.

Photography is not like a second me, it's a part of who I am. 

Like I'm a friend, a lover, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a godmother, a twin, a student, a french girl, a finnish woman, etc, etc etc. They're all part of who I am.

And what the hell am I talking about :D

The point is.. I can't stand artists who are fake. Who make something they call art without REALLY thinking about it. 

I can't stand those who do good things just because they can get something from it.

I can't stand people that fake everything they do. Force themselves to be funny just so everyone can love them so they can be more popular and get something from it. Force themselves to be nice and helpful.

Argh ! This kind of people pisses me off :D 

But yes. They understand how to get a big and great career.  They understand how to get money.

How to survive.  They will never put their real opinions about things like I'm doing right now, because there are always people that disagree and start hating.

I don't want to be this person. I want to be real with what I'm doing and people around me. I'm sure it will make me a lot more happy. Maybe I'll never get the career I'm dreaming about because of it.

Maybe I'll never get clients and money. But it doesn't matter, because I can be myself and that is the second secret of happiness.

Anyway. What about my plans.

I don't want to reveal everything. Not even the half of it. 

Actually I realized there's nothing I want to reveal.

I think I should stop writing like an idiot and, I'll get back to work.

The best way to make dreams come true is writing them down, figure out where to start, how to continue.. And first of all. JUST WORK ON IT.

This article may have sounded like it's all about me but no. 

It's not only about artists either. If you are really interested about what I'm writing, I'm sure you can get many helpful tips. About life and realizing dreams.

Just remember those are MY points of view, you can totally disagree, it's ok. And maybe I will disagree with myself in one year.

OkOk.

But here are some videos I did while I was alone because of holiday. I think I have a true talent for music.

See you in the next article. :)

2013

So ! Now it's 2013.

It started in France. I don't know why, but I'm always inspired in France.  

Some may think it's because of the good food, and the romantic feeling Paris gives you, but, well, no. :D

It's because I get easily bored there ! 99% of my friends live in Finland now, and I can't take my bigger computer to France.

I'm not free either.

I mean, I go to my parents, which means I can't go whenever I want anywhere I want D:

It obligates me to spend 95% of my time.. thinking.

Which gives me inspiration.

And well, I got 3 project ideas. And big plans for 2013.

The first project is Angels and Demons. I've already shot a few ones, but it's far from being ready ! 

One of my 2013 challenges is to get better with studio and photoshop. So I took the picture above and the picture below with green backgrounds in Studio. Madness.

It's really hard. 

One of my plans for 2013 is to take at least 2 green background photos per month, to get better with photoshop. (and Studio yes yes)

My other plan is to take at least one conceptual picture per WEEK. 

When I say conceptual picture it means a picture of the project I'm having. Like now it's angels and demons.

The next project I will start, when this one will be ready, is DEATH.

Sounds morbid, right ?

I think it's an interesting subject. Everyone has thought about Death at least once in their lifetime.

It scares people. Intruigues others. Some are even waiting for it to come to them.

Because of different believes , religions, faith.

No, no I'm not going to represent death only in a horrible way. That's the stereotype, none knows what it's really like, so it scares, so everyone thinks it's the worse thing that could happen.

I want to take the pictures of the project in many different ways. I will try to figure out how different people feel about it, what different people believe in.. etc

I also want to find ways not to be so afraid of it. After all, that's the only thing in life that's sure, and everyone will have to go through it ;)

Damn ! I'm being so deep. It's gonna make me crazy soon.

Anyways, before 2013 I had an idea in mind that I couldn't realize just yet because I needed my friend Sara as a model (She has the perfect face for the idea I had!)

So I had to wait one or two months (can't remember), then pum, ready, taken.

I took it in studio with 2 softboxes. It was a funny evening. I mean, I think I forgot to sleep the night before it, and when I don't sleep, I'm not like "zzz i wanna sleep" but  I become completely crazy. And inspired.

In the middle of the shooting a random thing came to my mind and I told my friend "damn draw a black line on the middle of your face!"

She did it.

I shot her.

Yay !

Oh.

I don't have photos to show anymore :D But that's kind of.. logical. I mean, 2013 has just started!

But hey, big plans. I'm motivated and happy. I hope 2013 will bring me big things, experiences, beautiful people to meet and a lot of parties ! Whii!

PS. Sometimes I feel like I'm overexcited about this kind of stuff. (especially photography?!)

See you in the next article. :)

2012

Yepyep !

But let's continue. 2012 came and photography kept on going !

I had my first "shootings" with models. (not like professional ones but, friends !)

It was awesome!

I shot my classmate Kiira really often. She is cute, and I like shooting her anyway haha :D (sounds like shooting shooting, not shooting photos...you know..well..)

Snow is a beautiful thing, but it lasts too long in finland ! You get used to it, and it always looks the same. Everyday.

But I had to deal with it, and wait for spring.

Damn, why my writing is so bad today ? D:

Anyways, later, I had a shooting with Kiira's sister, Julianna, who became one of my favorite models. Really. She's so great.

Last year, I was in a really particular high school. Like, not really a high school. I mean, I had same classes and I graduated from there like everyone else does but.. hum.. 

Kind of hard to explain.

It's a math school. And there are only about 40students. It's awesome there! Everyone is so special and clever.

There was another ... "line" ? Guide line. It's not high school, it's just a special thing to become a tour guide :D Or how do you call that ?

Yeah yeah but anyway the line is full of charimatic and good looking girls :D And I got to know them. (People from the math line and people from the guide line didn't get along ..You know. Nerds versus Pretty people :D)

But yeah, when I got to know them, they liked my pictures and all wanted to pose for me, I was happy :D And, well, I had this shooting with Helene which lasted a whole day, and I was kind of proud of it !

She was suuuchh a great model aaahhh :D

 

Then, I continued my 365 days project (still haven't failed it !) with random weird concepts!

Like this one.

Also had my first client works to get myself some money :)

Aaaaaannd...... I failed the project.

Actually, it was because of the exams. Come on. Would have been ridiculous if I'd have to stay one more year in a math school ;)

Exams over -> Freedom !

I went to France again. When snow started finally to melt in Finland.

I took pictures of my friend Louise. Yes, the one on the article of 2011. The first photo.

We went to the field, full of flowers in my little village named Le Vaudoué.

I came back to finland, I was free because school was almost over, spring came, there wasn't any snow, well,  I was inspired again !

The same kind of inspiration crazy thing that happened in France some months before (in winter).

I have to admit, everytime I get an inspiration attack, I take selfportraits.

I have a great theory for this.

When I take pictures of beautiful models, I FORGET THE MESSAGE AND THE CONCEPT.

Because I'm too amazed by their beauty, and I want to shoot their pretty face, not the weird concept I had in mind.

Then, when I get a concept, I have to take it as fast as possible. Otherwise I start thinking it's a stupid idea.

I'm the model I can get the fastest. (Not shit, Sherlock!)

And, let's say I don't actually care about what I do and what I look like. If I need to roll in mud for an idea, I do it. 

Models, not necessarily.

So here are some pictures I took when I was really inspired. 

 The blood on me is syrup. It's so sticky ! And when I was sitting on the rooftop (which was wet.), all the dirt got "glued" on me. So awesome !
The picture was taken around 6 in the morning.
I like taking selfportraits in finland the night, because the sun sets late and rises early.
And,
None is here to see me. With some sticky syrup that looks like nothing but blood.
Oh and some ridiculous angel wings. Hahha

 I really enjoyed going to the roof. I don't know why. None goes there and it's.. hum.. funny. Yay.

 I got this idea in Sweden.  The seagulls took food from tables in restaurants/cafes and I was like "haha what if one would try to take my hair instead of the food" or something like this, and then I was like "damn, I'm gonna photograph this!"
The picture was taken in Finland. Yes the seagulls are photoshopped on the picture. They are the one that took food from tables in Sweden. I'm glad I took pictures of them. If I do a composition with photoshop, I prefer to use only photos of mine.

It took me 8 or 9 hours to post-process it. The 20th of May. My birthday ! That was the day I was 18 years. Majority. Of course my friends wanted me to go to drink, but I wanted to photoshop, so I had the best birthday of my life. Photoshop. <3                      

As you can see on the two pictures above, I got my fog machine !! :')

And this is just some kind of random idea. I wanted to show the good and bad sides of life.

Everything is always okay.

Stay positive!

Yay !

<- random idea. not so happy :D

Then I got the Canon 5D Mark II ! The love of my life. The only one.

Haha.

I graduated, and photographed stuff like graduation parties... etc..

Then I realized that I didn't shoot anything I WANTED TO shoot with my new camera. I mean. Conceptual !

So so so, I was chilling with my computer doing some random stuff and it was 4 in the morning. Hello Sun ! It looked beautiful. I just put a white dress on, take 5 pictures. In ... 10 minutes. And tah daaah! (Oh I forgot the 20minutes of photoshop)

I took my favorite picture ever !!  !! ! !! !! !

Yay

I also used the fog machine... :D

Then, in June-July(?) I went to a photography stage. It lasted one week and I met some amazing people there. And had one of my best weeks of the year. Maybe the best ? I don't know, but it was so awesome.

Everyday we had some exercices and stuff plaplapla

Anyway, It teached me not to be impressed by the beauty of the model :D

I mean, I could realize my ideas without taking a selfportrait.

Here are some !

One month later, oh noes, I got an artist's depression D: Not like "I don't want to live !" but like "I don't want to shoot !" or "I want to shoot but my pictures look so bad !"

It lasted and lasted and lasted and lasted.

I went to my new school in fall. Muurla. Photography school.

And AWESOME school.

But my inspiration crise kept on going :( And the school messed my head even more.

No, no, not the way you think. But, I learned to understand, like, so many new kinds of photography.

I started thinking more about arts in general. Everything. What's a good photo, what's not ?

Hey come on, this is mind-f*cking ! :D

But I came back, bit by bit..

I decided to take pictures of strangers, to kill my stupid and ridiculous shyness. 
                                            

What else, what else.... 

I started the color project . :)

Here's my favorite one, from the series.

You can see the whole project on my website, here !

Then then, in November, my sister got a son. 

I became aunt, and godmother, so I guess I found my favorite model. LUKA !

That's a christmas picture I took of him. My sister wanted a photo for christmas cards. :')

Damn, this little cute thing will be the most handsome guy in the whole world and all the girls are going to fall for him ! 

Then came my last shooting of 2012. Eerika, the amazing model, came to Muurla and we were at the studio. Yay. :)

Aaaaaaaand. 

2012 ended.

I'm too tired to read this article and correct my mistakes. :) I'll do it tomorrow !

I also know none cares about what I'm writing but, I do it for my own pleasure, and maybe someone will find it entertaining or helpful =)

Next article -> 2013 !

2011

I thought I could upload old pictures. In this article, those I took in 2011.

Actually I do this because I want to see my progression which is an important thing to know, I guess.

It keeps motivated and gives the will to keep on going.

When I got my first reflex camera, I was focused on portraits. I have always been interested in people. They're all fascinating and different. When I was a kid, I used to draw a lot, and what I drew the most, was, of course, people !

I won't show the way-too-ugly stuff I used to take, I can see them, it's enough :D

But I upload here this picture:

It's my long time friend, she's a great model and not just because she has big blue eyes and a beautiful face!

What I wanted in this time, was getting technically correct pictures. I wanted my friends to look great on my images and most of all, showing their true personality.

And let's say it was the best way to learn the photography technique. I never really actually thought about it. I was just like "oh i can do this ! this is so awesome!" or "what's that ISO number ? oh my god my picture is lighter, stunning!" 

And discovering all this stuff, while taking pictures of friends, is just awesome.

That is just why I want you  all, who are SOO hurried to know everything about everything, and hates learning technique AAND wants to get everything right away just right, TO CALM DOWN !

Come on! If you take it easy and learn things calmly it becomes a lot more funnier and you suddenly realize a few months later that you actually KNOW all this technical stuff ! 

Oh, and I just need to say that. You don't need to know the technique 100% to be creative ! (and I also gotta say that you need creativity to learn the technique faster and it will also get funnier :))

I don't even know why I'm explaining all this stuff because nobody's gonna read it :D But I'm having fun writing and maybe one day this article will help someone! Let's hope !

So, the same summer I guess, I learned HDR photography, it was so cool, so unreal :D ..

I shot everything I could just to see how awesome it looks in HDR. 

Like this one !

It's a little bit in the Harry Potter train style :D Hah.  Actually, I think it's a lot like Harry Potter ! (The third one when the ugly and mean dudes from Azkaban come and try to eat Harry's soul in the train)

But anyway, I was kind of proud of this picture back then ! 

When I look at it right now, I'm not like "uugh this is horrible" but I think it's interesting. I don't think this picture looks bad, I just think I would never take this kind of picture again. Let's say I've found a kind of photography I like a lot more !

Autumn 2011 is when I "exploded" in photography !

I started my first 365 days project. Unfortunately I didn't finish it. But, damn, I learned so much !

Of course I worked hard on my portraits. I wanted them to look just GOOD ! Catch more feelings, get better color tones with photoshop..

I stopped focusing on my friends' personality, but I started to focus on mine ! I saw an interesting thing on TV (a photography master class by Oliviero Toscani). He said that every portrait is a selfportrait. He was so right ! That changed a bit how I feel about photography and what I'm gonna do with it.

Some weeks later I realized I can do crazy stuff with photoshop and I decided to give it a try. The picture above doesn't look like anything and that's because I didn't have any particular idea xD. I just improvised something "cool".  It had its great parts in this horrible photoshop try. I simply discovered photoshop. And it became my passiiooon! Now photography and photoshop complete themselves. Of course I love getting great pictures without photoshop without making crazy compositions..etc But what I love the most I must say, is composing awesome stuff and spending hours and hours in front of my computer with my Wacom Tablet. After 10 hours straight of photoshop, when the picture is ready and I'm proud of it, I get a kind of crazy feeling, like "drugged", and I'm the most happy and excited person in the world. When the feeling gets its end, I simply do everything again, I shoot, post-process and get it back. Like I'm addicted

Maybe that's something everyone gets by their passion.

It's like love. When you love someone, you get all kinds of feelings (when you have a happy love I mean!) that make you crazy.

But when someone doesn't love you back you get the same feelings I get when I fail a picture. 

I saw an interesting documentary about love. And it all happens in the same brain part than drugs (cocaine, heroine even cigarettes). The addiction part. 

You love to see the person you're in love with, because you addiction brain part is satisfied. But when you don't see them, you need it like you'd need cocaine ! Crazy, ain't it ?

Well, I guess I'm addicted to photography then. I think it attacks my addiction brain part or something, haha.

Damn, what am I talking about ? It's not the point :D

Oh, after talking about love and addiction this picture fits perfectly. Also the fact that tomorrow is Valentine's Day ;)

Anyway, when I took this picture, I just had bought a bokeh master kit :D It was funny, playing with bokeh and stuff (hmm 3 months after getting my 50mm f/1.8 ?)

And that was my fall's last picture. The next day, snow came, and I could finally try snowy photography :D

On the picture above, it's me with a baby face and a bokeh ! sweet :)

Here's winter's first picture then ! A selfportrait !

And yes, the smile is REAL ! My friend was throwing snow on me and some cold nice ice was just in my neck.. aah...

And the camera took 10 pictures in one time. (I used to do that because the chances to get a good face picture get higher.)

The mini-camera I'm holding, is nothing but a mini lamp and a necklace! I loved it, (a chinese friend of mine, Andy gave it to me :D) but I lost it in my room some weeks ago. (I really should clean it.)

The most important moment of my photography life comes next.
I took this picture of Hiski with an epic idea in my head. Aaaand.. It was my first big photoshop work.
This day, I made the most important mistake ever. I FORGOT TO SAVE THE IMAGE WHILE POST-PROCESSING IT ! And photoshop crashed because it couldn't handle the size of the file.
Bye bye, 4hours of work. I don't know how, but I had the courage to start over again, right after the epic fail.

This is the oldest photo in my current portfolio. Daaamn I was so proud of it !

After taking this one, I decided to do some unreal photoshop works, without looking "photoshoped".
I mean, that the only thing that could say it's post-processed is the fact that I can't be twice smaller than a book.
The picture above (Wind Of Change), you can say it's photoshopped because of it's "painty" style.. I don't know how to explain.
But, yeah, so I went home in France, and got a crazy inspiration week and took exactly the kind of pictures I wanted to take ! Unreal and realistic in the same time ;)

They are all selfportraits !
Then it was the new year. And here my 2011 year came to its end ! Let's say, this year was just crazy. :D

Next article will be about 2012 ! Yes ! Awesome.

Blog's start !

Well, I decided to start a new blog ! (again.. hehe)

But this one will be way more active, I'll make sure of that. I'm gonna upload here all my new pictures, new updates or random thoughts. Maybe some behind the scenes and stuff like that !

Hope you'll like it. :)

that's me, yay




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